The Consequence of Owning an Amazon Echo

*story and picture for day 2 of my 1-a-day May challenge.

My Mother’s house is like an episode of Seinfeld where all of the characters are Kramer. Friends and family come and go and come and go.

We may never know who was responsible.

My brother and I had bought our mother an Amazon Echo Plus for her birthday. She loved it. Her favorite feature was the ‘Grocery List.’

The other day when she sat down with a pen and paper and called out: “Alexa! Read me my Grocery List,” this is what I heard from the other room:




Orange juice


Hard cider




Trash bags

Dried cranberries


Shrimp Cocktail

Salmonella flavored gummy vitamins

Ten gallons of lube

Cancer puppies

a one-year supply of used hypodermic needles

Two kilos of crack-cocaine

six rolls of duct tape

a gun

an entitled fish stick named Bleach

Coconut water

Coconut water

Coconut water

Coconut water

Coconut water

Coconut water

Coconut water

A nuclear family of sex dolls

Then I heard Alexa say, “there are five items remaining on your grocery list, would you like to hear those?”

And my mother said,

“No…no, I think not. Thank you, Alexa.”


If you’ve got a Medium account and want to follow / clap this story, you can find it here:

If you want to learn more about my May challenge, you can find it here:


One comment on “The Consequence of Owning an Amazon Echo”
  1. tara caribou says:

    Oh my… hahaha!! This is awesome.


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